Edith of Wessex

Oh hey it’s Drunk Friday, let’s talk about Edith of Wessex, who gets ignored a lot but was actually probably more powerful than she’s given credit for

-daughter of Earl Godwin, who had his sticky fucking fingers in everyfuckingthing (I am willing to do a Drunk Rant just about This Fucking Guy, lemme know), and Gytha, a Danish noblewoman

-married to Edward the Confessor, King of England, and thus the last queen of pre-conquest England

-spoke multiple languages, because fuck you

-never had children with ol’ Edward, let alone sons, (in fact it’s possible that they never had sex, it’s a whole argument), but still kept her position as queen for like 20 years AND made a comeback after he tried to usher her off to a nunnery, because FUCK YOU

-described by a male historian as “interfering” and “bad-tempered,” which means she got involved in politics and boys don’t like that

-commissioned a saint’s life about her husband which rehabilitated her own image AND that of her fiercely disliked mother-in-law Emma of Normandy

-on record as the richest woman in England and the 4th richest person overall when Edward died

-William the Conqueror eliminated basically all of the old English nobility, including Edith’s entire fucking family, and then got to Edith and was like oh hell no we’re keeping her she’s amazing

-when she died William paid for a lavish funeral and had her laid to rest with honor

-read lots of other saints’ lives and probably served as a consultant to Goscelin, who produced lives about early English saints as opposed to just regurgitating old Roman shit

-may have been the creative force behind the Bayeux Tapestry? Let’s be real, a woman definitely conceived of that shit and women made it so sure, I’ll go along with this theory

-realistically was compelled to marry a dude she didn’t particularly like, claimed she never banged him, turned him into an incredibly popular saint who would be the namesake of Edward I, aka The Hammer of the Scots, aka That King From Braveheart, and survived the Norman Conquest with her honor intact and mad respect despite having no surviving male relatives to protect her plus influenced the art and literature of her own time and for centuries after because she knew how to play the game, go Edith